The Story
OP (37F) has a stepdaughter, Amy (16F), who recently needed a formal dress. OP offered her old dresses, and Amy chose OP’s prom dress to wear. Since then, Amy has kept the dress in her wardrobe. OP admits she no longer fits into those old dresses but had kept them with the intention of passing them down to family. Her two sons weren’t interested, but her nieces, aged 15 and 13, have been eyeing them for when they’re old enough.
The conflict began when Amy accidentally left her earbuds in her sweatpants pocket and ran them through the wash. She asked for a new pair, but OP and her husband told her she’d need to save up for new ones herself, especially since she wanted an expensive brand. They even offered her wired earphones as a backup, but Amy declined.
Amy went to stay with her mom, and when she returned, she had the new earbuds she wanted. When OP asked if her mom had bought them, Amy admitted she had sold OP’s old prom dress on a second-hand site to buy the earbuds. This dress wasn’t just any dress—it was 100% silk, one of a kind, and from a brand that no longer exists. Naturally, OP was furious that Amy had sold it without asking.
As a consequence, OP confiscated Amy’s new earbuds and told her she could get them back once she repaid OP for the amount she got from selling the dress. Her husband thinks OP is being too harsh, saying it was never clearly stated whether Amy was borrowing or keeping the dress. Amy has since left to stay with her mom and feels OP is being unfair. Now, OP is questioning whether she took it too far.
Tea & Feels Verdict
Our Take
This is one of those messy family situations where everyone’s feelings make sense, but boundaries still need to be respected. OP’s frustration is totally valid. That dress wasn’t a loaner for Amy to flip for cash—it was a sentimental, irreplaceable item with plans for future hand-me-downs. Selling it without asking is a huge overstep.
At the same time, OP’s husband has a point about clarity. Teens aren’t always the best at understanding the difference between “you can wear this” and “this is yours now forever.” But even if there was some gray area, the bare minimum expectation should be: ask before selling something that isn’t obviously yours.
Confiscating the earbuds isn’t cruel—it’s a logical consequence. Amy sold something valuable to get those earbuds, so it makes sense she shouldn’t get to enjoy them until she makes it right. OP didn’t scream or ground her for life. She asked for accountability.
Amy’s reaction (going to stay with her mom) might be dramatic, but it also shows she’s struggling with understanding boundaries and consequences. That’s normal teen behavior, but it doesn’t mean OP is wrong here.
This isn’t about being unfair. It’s about teaching respect for other people’s belongings.
Reader Takes
We’re not the only ones with opinions. Here are some top takes from the Reddit crowd that caught our eye:
u/RespectMatters:
“NTA. Selling someone else’s property without asking is theft, plain and simple. You’re being more than fair by offering a way to make it right.”
u/ConsequencesAreLessons:
“She sold your dress to buy herself a luxury item after you said no. Taking back those earbuds until she repays you is a natural consequence, not a punishment.”
u/MiscommunicationDoesntExcuseIt:
“Even if you didn’t say the dress was a loan, it should be common sense not to sell someone else’s stuff. This is a hard lesson, but a needed one.”
u/OneOfAKindMeansOne:
“A 100% silk, one-of-a-kind dress? You’re right to be upset. This isn’t about being petty—it’s about respect for sentimental and valuable items.”
u/NotABorrowAndFlip:
“Amy treated your generosity like a free pass to profit. You’re handling it with restraint. NTA.”
TL;DR Verdict
✅ Not the Asshole
